….When They Think You’re Stuck Up… (I’m actually just Socially Awkward)
“I thought you were stuck up!” This has been said to me OFTEN. That has its pros and cons. The good thing about it, is that means someone actually took the time to get to know me and realized that I’m actually a cool person. The bad thing is that means, I’m misunderstood. How many people have misunderstood me?! How can I make this better? I want everyone to understand my heart and intentions. I know that doesn’t mean all will, but I just prefer not to be seen in a bad light. We’re all misunderstood to some degree. But I hate this assumption about me and it has been made about me my whole life…lol. Now I admit, my facial expressions are animated. But 85% of the time, my mind is thinking about something totally different, unattached from whatever setting I’m in, and it probably means something totally different than what you think. As stated in my previous blogs and vids, my mind is constantly going- Side effects of being a creative. Plus, because of my anxiety and panic disorder, I don’t react or respond to situations the ‘normal’ way. So let’s clear up some misunderstandings about ‘stuck up’ people that you may be misinterpreting.
1. “She thinks she’s too good to ______” Whatever it is, Individuals can have preferences without them thinking the alternative is beneath them. When someone prefers to eat oranges instead of apples, that doesn’t mean they think everyone who eats apples are peasants. Why do we do this? Preferences are allowed. Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t people in this world who think they are better than others, because there are. But that’s not me, and it may not be whoever you have accused in the past.
2. “I spoke to her and she didn’t look my way!” Listen, I promise guys…I will never just not speak to you if you’re speaking to me. I didn’t hear or see you is the correct answer. For an example: I had someone tell me once that they tried to speak to me at one of my events. The way my mind is set up- unless you are a 2-17 year old yelling ‘Ms. Kim!’ I’m probably not going to hear you. I’m usually focused on the tasks at hand. So please charge it to my head, and not my heart! I’m not doing it on purpose, I promise.
3. “She think she cute!” Correction… I know I am. I am fearfully and wonderfully made…shout out to God! Hey…I’m a confidence coach. So I’m never going to carry myself in a way that would make me feel bad about or ashamed of myself. How you look on the outside should reflect your joy on the inside. Ladies, let’s stop doing this to each other. That kind of behavior stems from insecurity and immaturity. We are all different and that itself is beautiful!! We should all feel ‘cute’ and compliment each other daily. Let’s all be great.
4. “She’s so quiet.” I am… at first. My social skills are not the best. I am really trying to do better and I am progressing. But my small talk needs work. What do I say? How do I say it? They gonna think Im stupid (Yes I care.. to an extent.) Its AWKWARD! For me anyway…lol. I’m open to any suggestions. But I am not being quiet because I think I’m too good to engage. I just really don’t know how. I am a perfectionist, and that delays me in some situations. In this situation, I think too hard about the best way to approach it which causes me to miss the opportunity all together. By the time I think of a way to enter a conversation with strangers, they are already on another subject and my input seems irrelevant or ‘trying too hard.’ I am around kids everyday and I don’t get a lot of adult time so I am a little out of practice. But I promise, I will do better.
5. “I don’t see her hang out” Invite me! I’m always looking to meet new people. I think at this age, it’s assumed that everyone already has their ‘circle’ of friends and that may be true for some. I am really busy but I’m always open to the idea, so reach out. It’s hard making new friends as an adult and it shouldn’t be. (and my anxiety doesn’t help) I am introvert, so know if I do come out… I am going to be uncomfortable. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there, it just means that this is a push for me and this is a huge step for me.
So all in all, let’s stop assuming the intentions of others. You never know why people do what they do until they tell you. Keep Going, Keep Growing, Keep Glowing!!
KIMBERLY!!! First of all YOU ARE KILLING!!!! I love your pictures and writings! Thank you for sharing your mind, wisdom, and heart with all of us! You truly are beautiful inside and out.