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...When You Love Your Flaws!

Writer's picture: Kimberly JonesKimberly Jones

I had the best childhood! I knew I was unique early on, because of my huge birthmark! I have a birthmark, called a ‘Giant Neevus,’ that covers my entire back and part of my right side. When I was born, some parts of it had to be surgically removed because I had something they called ‘raisins.’ Doctors also tested to make sure it wasn’t cancerous. Everything was fine, so they proceeded to stretch my skin to prepare to remove the entire mark. They put something like a balloon in my back and stitched me up. I was walking around looking like the hunchback. I kept having issues with my stitches coming out and my mama was over it! She stopped the process, and they decided I would keep my birthmark. Since I was still healthy and it wasn’t going to cause problems, there was no point in continuing. So on top of my birthmark, I have a huge surgery scar in the middle of it. Also, to the doctor’s surprise, my birthmark grew with my body. They expected it to get smaller as I got older.


My daddy always called it my ‘Beauty Mark!’ I actually felt special because God decided to give me a special mark that no one else had- confidence, courtesy of my sweet parents. When I got older, I started noticing the stares and got more questions. I didn’t mind it at the time. Again, I just knew I was special. But then I got to that weird stage in life (PreTeens) where you become more aware of yourself and you start to care more about what others think about you. I still privately loved my birthmark, but the questions and stares became more and more annoying. So I started monitoring what I wore. For example, I made sure I had cardigans when my shirt was low in the back and I wore T-shirts over my swimsuits.


As you may know, I am a dancer. I also competed in many pageants growing up, 4th-9th grade. My mom, being the SuperMom she is, used to sew extra pieces on to my dance costumes so my back wouldn’t show. Again, always making me feel extra special because the extra pieces she would add were bomb! When I started my short pageant journey, we discovered DermaBlend and we used it to cover my birthmark. I HATED wearing that makeup. Not that it was bad, it was just time consuming and always left makeup stains on my clothes. One day, I just asked my mom if I had to continue covering it up? She thought that’s what I wanted. It was in that moment, that my mom realized that even though, she was just trying to help and protect me, she was also unintentionally sending me the message that my birthmark was something I should hide. It brought a sense of shame to something I had been proud of as a little girl. My mom apologized, even though I didn’t blame her for anything! But ever since then I have been so proud to show it off. When I went to college, the star of the football team at the time, never forgot me because of it. ‘Kim with the exotic birthmark’ LOL You officially couldn’t tell me anything different after that.


My point is, fall in love with your flaws. Flaws help define your identity. It’s what makes you, YOU! Although, it doesn’t matter what other people think, once they realize that you’re ok with it, they will love it too. And that just makes things less awkward! Today, I still get stares and I ALWAYS forget that they are probably looking at my birthmark because it’s not normal. LOL I wear what I want, and I don’t think twice about it. It’s always funny at the beginning of the dance season, when my new baby dancers ask, “Ms. Kim, what’s that big black thing on your back?!” Or when my new teens ask, “What kind of tattoo is that on your back?” LOL I love the questions, because it gives me an opportunity to educate and share more about myself. I always say, you have to teach people how to treat you. That is all in how you see and treat yourself. If they see you timid and embarrassed, they just might believe you and agree that your flaw is something you should be embarrassed about.


Now of course, I have flaws way bigger and deeper than a birthmark. (And we’ll get into that on a later date…) But this just reminded me that we are not the same. And that’s a blessing. So what, you don’t look like that instagram model (Be thankful- its probably expensive)!


Embrace Your Differences and Show it off to the world!! At the same time, be accepting of other differences as well. It keeps you humble and grounded. And when you are grounded and confident in who you are, you can NOT be moved by the opinions of others.


Grow&Glow!

-Kim

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