So I gotta share what God told me... It's a super quick read, so enjoy yourselves. Of course, you are always going to be attacked in your area of expertise. This is what qualifies me to help other people. Lately, I have been feeling super insecure. I'm a freaking CONFIDENCE COACH! But again, Im given these tests so I can help others. I didn't quite understand why I was needing validation in order for me to feel ok. It's a trick! Don't get me wrong...validation is good. You should WANT validation sometimes. But it's not something that should be weighing on you. Now, some people may disagree and I understand. But this is just my opinion. I googled the definition.
Validation:
-the action of checking or proving the validity or accuracy of something. -the action of making or declaring something legally or officially acceptable. -recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.
Validation feels so good. It gives you confidence. It tells you what you are doing is not in vain. It makes you breathe easy. Pats on the back are encouraging. But what if you don't get it? At some point you have to know, for yourself, that you have to offer is bomb all by itself. You see, validation should only increase the confidence you already have.... it shouldn't give you confidence. Validation should not be the foundation of your confidence. If your confidence is solely based on the opinion of others, you need to go back to the drawing board... (and make an appointment with me so we can build your confidence!).
In my morning prayer, God told me to "Stop LOOKING for validation from men, when I have already validated you. Be Confident in That! Validation from others is welcomed, but let it be the icing on the cake. I've already made you the perfect cake." And everyone knows a perfect cake doesn't even need icing.
So validation is something I shouldn't go searching for. Got it.
Now real quick... look at this girl.
Whew....bless her heart. This was me in 2006. I look a MESS!! But I sacrificed what I liked to please the man that I was with. He only liked my hair a certain way.. so I got it done like that every week. He liked for me to dress a certain way... so I told myself I liked it, just because he did. He even liked my nails one way- French manicure because everything else was ghetto.
Now I'm not saying this to talk bad about him, everyone has their own preferences and that's fine. But I'm talking about me. I only got validation from him when I did what he wanted me to do. That led me to believe that my initial wants and desires were invalid. Thank God for growth.
My point is, sometimes we want validation so bad, that we sacrifice our true selves to get it. That's not the business. And if we stay in those situations too long we forget who we are. I was much happier when I rediscovered who I was. Rediscovered what I liked and didn't like. And I was better than ok with that. Be You. Love You. Everything else will follow. ...and if it doesn't, its cool because you are going to be fine either way. Be confident in that.
*Grow&Glow*
-Kimii